So back to a blenderized diet we go. It's not the worst thing but quite honesty, I was praying for a successful wean. You wonder if the wean feels like a failure and there is no question about it - it sure does. I'm still struggling with the fact that I simply cannot get my child to do one of the most natural things in the world - EAT!
I am more convinced now than ever that Allie simply doesn't feel the hunger sensation. There is just no way that a child could go 41 days without full nutrition and not be absolutely starving. Allie is continuing to refuse food after taking only 2-4 bites. There is absolutely no way that she is getting full on 2-4 bites - this whole thing just doesn't make sense.
So, as I sit here and think about our tube weaning journey, I am proud we have made it 41 days, however I was also praying our outcome would be much different. I thought I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel but quickly that light has faded and we are right back to the beginning.
Am I upset that the wean failed???? There is no question about it, I'm upset, pissed, dissapointed, frustrated, stressed, and down right mad. I was praying so hard that this would all work out in the end. But, now I have a little girl who is 2 pounds lighter and I know what a struggle it is for her to gain weight. 2 pound might not seem like a big deal BUT when you only weigh 20 some pounds, 2 pounds is a lot. Allie currently weighs 25.2 pounds she started her wein at 27.4.
There is a lot more happenng in Allie's little world and I'll blog about it tomorrow but for right now, I need to simply process everything that is happening. I'm proud of Allie for trying to eat for 41 days and I know she would eat if there wasn't somethin stopping her. I know Allie isn't starving herself on purpose - we just need to get to the bottom of her medical issues so we can move forward with her eating issues.
|Little Miss Allie pretending to paint my bed|