|May 2010 - Allie at Mayo Clinic the day before her previous endoscopy|
The dreaded Thursday has arrived. I have been hoping this day would just be a dream but it's actually here. Today is the day that Allie preps for her colon scope and endoscopy. Allie has been through numerous endoscopy's before so we are not stressing about that procedure. However, this is Allie's first colonoscopy and I'm very stressed about it.
This afternoon she starts per pooping medicine. I sat down with her last night and explained that she is not allowed to eat solid foods and that she can drink apple juice, water, pedialyte and eat popsicles. She was excited about the popsicles but I know when she wakes up this morning, she is going to want her milk. Her milk is her security - she needs it all the time and she takes it everywhere she goes. So, it's going to be a battle today keeping her away from her milk. Granted, she doesn't each much solid food orally so I'm hoping it's not a problem with her not being able to eat it today. However, it never fails, when you don't let a kid have something then they want it. So, we'll see how the day progresses but right now I'm wishing I could crawl back into bed and just fast forward to Saturday. Allie starts her pooping medicine this afternoon. Today I am very thankful for her feeding tube. It will be much easier to give her the pooping medicine through the tube because I'm sure she would never drink it orally. So for this instance, her feeding tube is a blessing!!! I'm praying that Allie handles all the pooping like a champ and that she doesn't get many belly cramps. Never thought there would be a day when I am thankful my 2 1/2 year old is still in diapers. I'm thinking being in diapers is going to be much easier on Allie - otherwise she would be running to the potty and probably pooping her pants a lot today. Ha, there is a positive side to my lack of potty training her. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want her potty trained but I just haven't had the "energy" to do it these days.
Tomorrow morning we have to be at the hospital at 9:30 am. and her procedure is scheduled to start at 11:00. The doctor said the procedure would take an hour. I am extremely nervous for tomorrow because Allie is older now and understands more. She has seen more many more doctors since May 2010 when she had her last endoscopy and she has grown to dislike the doctors a lot. Allie now knows where we are going when we pull into the hospital parking lot. She cries immediately when she sees anything resembling a hospital or doctors office. She is traumatized and tomorrow is going to traumatize her even more. I'm nervous to hand her over to the doctors. I know her procedures are not complicated at all, but just putting a child under anesthesia can be risky. I dread when she wakes up from being under because she is scared and confused and totally freaks out. I try telling the nurses this but for some reason, they don't believe me. However every time she has woken up from the anesthesia, the nurses come running for me in the waiting room and we sprint back to her recovery room so I can calm her down. Just wish for once, they would believe the mothers and let us be there immediately after surgery. Our little one's need us to comfort them and know everything is okay.. I dread Allie seeing her IV for the first time - she flips out when something is attached to her and she tries pulling it out. Just the thought of entering the hospital doors with our Allie makes me nervous.
I'm also extremely nervous for results. This may sound crazy but if the results come back "normal", I'm going to lose it. Point blank, we need answers. I cannot continue on like we have been. We have to find answers for Allie. Her tube feedings are saving her life but the way she fights us every time we hook her up cannot continue. It's draining us fast and when I say fast, I mean a downward FAST spiral. I am getting drained and I can see it affecting me and the way I deal with everyday life. If we don't get answers, it's going to be devastating.
We ask for prayers for Allie today as she preps for her colon scope and endoscopy. Please pray that her procedures tomorrow go smoothly and that she handles everything with no complications. Pray for answers - any answers, just something that will shed light on why Allie doesn't eat orally.
Thank you for following our journey with Allie. Our journey has been challenging and stressful but just knowing we have such great family and friends supporting us really helps. Also, thank you to all my tubie mom friends for all your advice and support. As I've said in the past, "It's a wonderful feeling knowing you are not alone in the world"!!!!
Update on Matt - he had his biopsy yesterday morning and everything went well. Matt took it like a man and did great - I'm so proud of him. We should get his biopsy results Friday or Monday. Please continue to pray for good results. (not sure I can handle another whining patient - ha ha)
I'll keep everyone updated on Allie - thanks again!!!!
Here is a video of Allie this morning talking about her "prep" day - enjoy!