Not sure how to put this.......

I cannot believe it's Thanksgiving tomorrow.  I am very excited to spent time with family and friends over the next 5 days.  Thanksgiving is all about food and giving thanks.  This always used to be my favorite holiday, I think partially because it's the beginning of the holiday season yet not everyone is running around like crazy and of course you always have a delicious meal with plenty of leftovers. 

After Allie was born, my outlook about Thanksgiving changed slightly.  Not dramatically but slightly.  There is something enjoyable about all gathering around the table and enjoying a delicious (huge) meal with family and everyone stuffing themselves till they no longer feel good.  It's tradition!!!!  I'm not sure how to put this but.......it's very emotionally hard to sit at a Thanksgiving meal and watch Allie NOT EAT.  It just doesn't make sense.  It breaks my heart to see all this wonderful food that someone has worked very hard to prepare and she won't even eat more than 2 bites.  It breaks my heart to see that she doesn't get enjoyment from food and that she doesn't know she requires it to live.  You would think that with all different types of food offered on Thanksgiving our little Allie would enjoy at least one of them.

For those of you who have a child that doesn't eat, or wants to eat but for some reason cannot, you know what I'm feeling.  There is an ache in my heart every time we sit down for a meal but sitting down for a Thanksgiving meal is even harder.  At this point, there is nothing we can do about Allie not eating, we will just present her a plate with food and encourage her to eat.  Of course we do not force her to eat, it's her choice to eat or not. 

I know we will have a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and everyone except Allie will stuff themselves until they are uncomfortable, however I will quietly be sad, upset, angry and feel helpless because Allie won't eat.  I cannot wait for Christmas because at least at that Holiday, Allie is no different than anyone else.  She is just a little kid enjoying everything Christmas offers!

Allie had speech therapy this morning at 9:00 and then we have an appointment with her new ENT Specialist.  Of course there are new concerns by her speech therapist with the amount of gagging Allie has been doing, however I will write about that at another time. I'm very anxious to see what Dr. Edmonson  (ENT Doctor) thinks about Allie.  This is the first time she is seeing an ENT doctor so I hope it goes well.  I'm not really sure what to expect - this is new territory for us, however I'm sure everything will go great.  I'll update with what we find out.

We hope everyone has a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving.  For those of you traveling, please travel safe!  We hope to see many of you over this Thanksgiving Holiday!

Here are a couple pictures from Thanksgiving 2009.

Us - Jodi, Allie, Chloe & Matt on Thanksgiving 2009

Little Allie Rae - you can see how short she is by looking at her feet.  Her tights were super long for her.

Allie & Chloe

Got them both smiling even though Chloe's smile is cheesy.

Sisterly love

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